Xat…

I’ve been reading quite a few papers recently. Many of them are classics, and you can always expect new insights after re-reading them. And bam! Why haven’t I thought of this? Or shoot! They did that 20 years ago! Alas, just how many big men’s shoulders you need to climb on to! Only to realize your own research is totally worthless!

Despite that, the experience is inspiring rather than discouraging. What did discourage me was the fact that many of my peers are producing papers at a very fast pace. Four a year? The length of their CVs blatantly ridicules mine in comparison.

I admit that I’m a bit jealous and a bit uneasy about my job prospect. But on the bright side, reading those papers are usually like… Not that they are bad, they are totally merited for publication– but they are mostly lackluster. Like, meh. It’s okay to publish them, but I’d be fine too if they remain solely as my research notes. For whatever reason, I seem to have many such notes… I may retrospectively announce that I was procrastinating for a good reason.

I chatted with Todd a bit this afternoon and expressed my frustration. As soon as I started phrasing these thoughts into speech I felt like a drama queen caught in the eagerness for approval. I’ve been trying to organize some of my results from the past few years into a final paper before graduation. I should have done that sooner– the sad truth is I’m no longer enthusiastic about them.

I was offered no free grapes but I did learn two things from our chat. First, if you find an interesting project, pursue and finish it in the heat of the moment. Second, it’s always nice to have an adviser who chooses to tickle your confidence rather than trample on it.

1. Finish the work at hand and graduate before summer. It is time.
2. Find something interesting to work on post-graduation. Get a grant along the way to stay employed.
3. Learn to relax. Focus on the things I like.
4. Travel. Be healthy.

或者说，故意让它一声不吭。克制诉说欲。阅读，睡，出游电影院。举重。隔日饮酒。

只要最新鲜的片段，只要层出不穷的，明亮刺眼、冬天般寒冷的，仿佛可以在每一刻停留到无穷的。

过剩的精力。

记忆是个网眼稀疏的筛子，截下的那部分非常少。带着稍许的后悔。非常，非常，非常好。

整个八月好像是给按了多倍的快进键，吱溜吱溜跑掉了。只留一些断续的画面存在像册里，随意的取光，大片的空景。由我用鼠标修修补补，再用键盘敲出合情理的故事来。

生活不用剧本也能演到剧终。只是时间长了，开头的情节变灰蒙蒙一片。不像王家卫的夜场一直光影交错。要用文字对抗遗忘，要找一点拍戏的缘由出来。可以。也要记着剧本是情节告一段落才有时间来编的。

我很久没有走如此之久，每天八个，九个小时。在斗兽场用笔（！）写日记。或者坐在路边，整下午地看行人，看天，在阳光里。做梦，梦到鸽子偷吃我的蛋糕。我昏昏欲睡时，未来的卷角正朝四面八方慢慢展开，预备新的、微小的惊喜。

可以重新随意舒展肢体。可以大声尖叫，啊！这是一件多美妙的事情！

我最近越来越爱各种科学杂志了。尤其是《科学》《自然》这种高端杂志，不仅有精美图表满足我扭曲的审美欲望，更有背后各种编辑审稿人作者勾心斗角的8卦消息。

除掉前菜甜点，每隔一段时间《科学》杂志都会奉上精美正餐。这些文章哪里找？当然是心理学专栏。

比如这一篇，《论想象吃饭可以减少真的吃饭》，为战胜自然灾害粮食问题做出了卓越的贡献。

Thought for Food: Imagined Consumption Reduces Actual Consumption
Science, 2010, 330, 1530
The consumption of a food typically leads to a decrease in its subsequent intake through habituation—a decrease in one’s responsiveness to the food and motivation to obtain it. We demonstrated that habituation to a food item can occur even when its consumption is merely imagined. Five experiments showed that people who repeatedly imagined eating a food (such as cheese) many times subsequently consumed less of the imagined food than did people who repeatedly imagined eating that food fewer times, imagined eating a different food (such as candy), or did not imagine eating a food. They did so because they desired to eat it less, not because they considered it less palatable. These results suggest that mental representation alone can engender habituation to a stimulus.

再来新鲜出炉的《论流言对视觉的影响》，充分证明了我们对8卦的敏感度与生俱来！

The Visual Impact of Gossip
Science, 2011, 332, 1446
Gossip is a form of affective information about who is friend and who is foe. We show that gossip does not influence only how a face is evaluated—it affects whether a face is seen in the first place. In two experiments, neutral faces were paired with negative, positive, or neutral gossip and were then presented alone in a binocular rivalry paradigm (faces were presented to one eye, houses to the other). In both studies, faces previously paired with negative (but not positive or neutral) gossip dominated longer in visual consciousness. These findings demonstrate that gossip, as a potent form of social affective learning, can influence vision in a completely top-down manner, independent of the basic structural features of a face.

菊花茶，柠檬蜜，川贝枇杷膏。

因为咳嗽的缘故，每日减去运动娱乐，早睡早起，似乎平白多出许多时间。今日生日，中午以粥代饭，尝了雪菜毛豆，香干肉丝，都是熟悉的家常口味。

七月底去德国开会，想顺带着旅行。一番忙碌，又赶出个贪多嚼不烂的行程。从基尔到哥本哈根，辗转柏林，再去佛罗伦萨和罗马，中间还要夹一周学术访问——正是我火烧眉毛刻刻仿佛最后一刻的性格，可以百加掩饰，怎样也无法改变——就连造的句子也这样神经紧张。

除了工作飞速进展，生活、文艺和爱情事业全面倒退！自从五月初在塔厚做了成功的报告、胜利的报告，本人的鼻子就成了自来水管，在滴滴答答的过程当中完成了南加一周游，附带提华纳签证大冒险。这当中浪费了多少大好春光！才吃完夜饭，就“对不起，身体欠安”，喝了泰诺在无限遗憾的8点夜色中昏死过去。而最近自来水厂又向下升级成火电站，咳嗽好比开火车，呼哧呼哧一句话都讲不完。我存着的板蓝根冲剂是不是假冒的啊！为什么喝了三大包都好不了的啊！如今成天不断地吃含片，用公鸭嗓说抱歉，躲到厕所里深呼吸喷雾剂，只有LaTeX文档里优美的曲线给予我安慰。